Monday, March 24, 2014

Here I am...

Here I am, yet again...

Writing about my desire to lose weight. The desire is there but where's my motivation and dedication? Is this a losing battle? I hope not. I am 23 years old, I do not want to live out the rest of my 20s weight 230lbs. How do you get started? Does it start with a nudging and forcing myself to the gym everyday? Does it start with getting rid of all the unhealthy foods in my fridge? Does it start with my environment?

I don't know. Where do people find the motivation to stay away from unhealthy foods?

How do I get rid of my binge eating habits?

Right now I am reading the Beck Diet Solution book regarding sabotaging thoughts concerning healthy eating and staying away from junk food. At the current moment I can't even process these thoughts or what they are.

le sigh.

I'm feeling defeated and depressed. I just want to be happy with myself and I know losing weight will help me get there. I also know that I need to be happy with myself first before I can achieve that goal.

Dear Higher Power (if there is one...) Help me love myself. Help me motivate myself. Help me get to a healthy mindset and place.

Thanks for reading.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Going to the Gym

So my best friend joined a gym where she is allowed to bring a buddy with her for free during her visits. She invited me to attend with her so I got dressed and ready to go within minutes. These last couple weeks I have been really bad about working out and my nutrition, but today's visit to the gym inspired me! It has been about a year since I've been at a gym. It has definitely been too long. I honestly didn't remember what it felt like to be in a gym and how the environment itself made you feel healthier and inspired to workout on a daily basis.

Going to the gym today was a wake-up call. Going to the gym tomorrow early in the morning. Going to make these dreams a reality.

No more holding back.

Friday, May 31, 2013

This is a Battle

This is a battle I must conquer. I am addicted to junk food and I need a way to get out of this bad habit. This habit is slowly killing me, I can't see any of the bad side effects now, but I might as well nip it in the butt, before there is even a problem like diabetes. Besides being overweight I have a strong body. I have the ability to exercise. The ability do walk. The ability to work. I need to do myself a favor and get active. This is my life and I create the outcomes.

I need to stop sabotaging my health.
I need to commit to me, 100%.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Starbucks Green Tea

Whenever I come to Starbucks, it use to be because I was going to order a caramel grande frappuccino. I was drinking this drink for years taking in 400-600 calories all in one shot. I wasn't an avid Starbucks drinker, but those drinks add up. I then switched drinks to their strawberry smoothie, but now I have a new drink and treat. It's cheap, tasty and satisfying. I order a tall, grande, or venti iced green tea with no added sugar. NOM NOM NOM, or should I say GULP GULP GULP. I've been developing a taste for tea these last few weeks, drinking it almost daily in the morning before beginning the day.

It's a low calorie treat, and it let's me use the internet at starbucks at a low cost! Instead of paying almost $5.00 for another beverage.

Slim in 10, Turbo Jam Eating Plan

So I've gotten down to 209lbs with the help of Turbo Jam's Slim in 10. It is basically a diet plan you follow and you're guaranteed at most, 10lbs in 10 days and 10 inches. I'm doing it a little differently. I've Started following the plan strictly, but because of a lack of resources I've switched it up a bit. I am also switching the workouts around with Chalean Extreme videos instead of Turbo Jam Cardio remixes. I am still getting results. I am on Day 5, and I'm down 4lbs. I'm not hungry or feeling hungry at all so far. I may try this once every two months if it all works out. When I'm craving foods I allow myself to eat, but it's a healthy treat.

I'm feeling good about this stretch of clean eating. Let's make it a lifetime!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Cinco de Mayo

I don't know what it is about making a commitment that is so hard for me.

I started this blog with the hopes of continuously updating and staying motivated about my progress in my weight loss journey, but I fall in and out of these cycles of healthy habits and fitness routines. I fell short two weeks to completing Insanity, I almost completed one month of the Chalean Extreme fitness program, and only completed two weeks of Hip Hop Abs... I just lost interest or lost motivation. From doing these programs I've gotten down to my lowest weight of 209lbs but I am back in between 215 and 218. Le Sigh, no matter how much physical work I do... Whether it's at work, bike riding to & from work, my weight does not budge. 

This makes me realize it's not my fitness activity that needs a makeover (although it helps) but it's my mentality... I need to have self control when it comes to food. I need to make working out a priority.  

One thing I have noticed about myself is that I have an addiction to salty and sweet foods. I really want to start going to an Over-eaters Anonymous group. I literally can eat a family size bag of chips on my own. I can eat an entire Oreo's container in two sittings. That is too much food, and I know it. I have a serious problem with food and I need to deal with it. I think I need some sort of support group and if it is OA that can help me, then so be it.

I'll hopefully be moving to the Bay Area in Late August early September, and maybe being independent and having no form of transportation will motivate me to live a healthier lifestyle and break out of these bad habits.

I will no longer be comforted by food.

Monday, January 28, 2013


I forgot to weigh-in this morning.

One thing I am going to do differently, I am going to weigh-in bi weekly instead of every other day or weekly. The scale is no good for me, it shouldn't be about the number anyway. It should be about how I feel.

I got this! Writing positively about being healthy motivates me everyday to be healthy.